


98. shattered mind

by piggy09



Series: The Sestre Daily Drabble Project [83]
Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 11:54:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8101438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piggy09/pseuds/piggy09
Summary: When they pull Helena out of the box Sarah isn’t there. She knows she won’t be. She’s played this scorpion-game for a long time: Sarah won’t be where there is someone else to see her.





	

Helena wakes up in a box – wakes up to an absence of sisters, just wood, just sand in her mouth and everywhere dry heat. She screams, can’t help it, starts pounding her fists on the box—

And Sarah says, “Hey, hey, calm down, you’re alright, I’m here.”

Helena stops. Sarah isn’t in the box, it’s not big enough for her, but – that’s Sarah’s voice, that’s Sarah. She must be outside.

“I thought,” she says. “I thought they took me from you. And all my other _sestras_.”

“They did, meathead,” Sarah says. “You know they did.”

\--

When they pull Helena out of the box Sarah isn’t there. She knows she won’t be. She’s played this scorpion-game for a long time: Sarah won’t be where there is someone else to see her.

\--

In Helena’s cell, Sarah sits on the other side of the wall. Helena does push-ups, Helena paces, Helena learns to time the buzzing of the doors. Helena remembers the sweep of the security cameras.

Helena asks: “Are you still there?”

Sarah says: “Yes.”

“I know you didn’t give me up,” Helena tells her in the dark, when she’s lying on her bed, when she’s staring into the black. “You wouldn’t.”

“’course I wouldn’t,” Sarah says easily. “You’re my sister. You saved my life.”

“I know,” Helena says quietly. “You already said that.”

“Yeah, well,” Sarah says. “I’m your ghost. I remember what you do.”

\--

“If you were here,” Helena says, lying on the bed, bleeding a little. “If you were here, and not over there. Would you hug me.”

“Yes,” Sarah says.

“You would,” Helena says, voice shaking with tears.

“I would,” Sarah says.

\--

“You have to get out of here,” Sarah says.

“Why?” Helena asks, lying on her side, staring at the wall. “You’re here. I’m here.”

“Your baby, meathead,” Sarah says.

Helena stays silent.

“We’re planning a baby shower, back home,” Sarah says softly. “We’re gonna make it great for you. But you have to come back.”

“No you’re not,” Helena says. “That was just a dream.”

“Sure it was,” Sarah says. “But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t true.”

\--

“Good night, Helena,” Sarah says every night, voice soft and easy. “Love you.”

\--

When Helena wakes up one morning, Sarah is quiet.

“Sarah?” she says, and: “Sarah?” and: “Sarah, I can’t do this alone, I can’t be here alone, Sarah _please_ —”

“ _Helena?_ ” comes a desperate voice from the other side of the wall, and Sarah’s face appears in the grate. “Helena! Hey! Oh, god, you’re alive! What’ve they done to you? Are you okay?”

“No,” Helena says, voice wild and desperate. “No, no, come back.”

“What?” Sarah says. “I’m right – I’m _here_ , Helena. I came to get you out, yeah? I – I had to find you, I had to see if you were okay—”

Helena jumps back onto the bed, buries her face in her pillow. “No,” she says over and over and over. “No, no, no.”

\--

Sarah yells and yells but Helena doesn’t listen. She breaks out. She climbs over the wall around the prison camp.

From the other side, Sarah’s voice says: “Go. Run. For your baby.”

“I missed you, sister,” Helena says desperately. And she goes.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please kudos + comment if you enjoyed! :)


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